i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
