Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
