she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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