i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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