the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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