and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
