I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize