I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
