Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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