Dual....:-)
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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