Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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