p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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