Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
