awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize