I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
