real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
