dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
