brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
