Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
we're so committed to being not committed
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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