is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
