Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
