Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
