I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
