it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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