I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
