who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
