You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
