I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
porn star boner night. come get it.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
