I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
