So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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