I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize