kristin has been a bad kristin
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
If I die, sorry about rent.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
