I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
