I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
