I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
