I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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