I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
