The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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