I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
