To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
