I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
