Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
