Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
they're like a gay fantastic four
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize