You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
