I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize