508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
