we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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