Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
