If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
