the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
