she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Randomize
