Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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