idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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