Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
