I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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