I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
