What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
