The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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