please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
The beer is more important than you right now.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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