Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
