if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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