i think i have two assholes
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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