At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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