One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
