he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
what is it with giant penises always finding me
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
