and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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