i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
