I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize